Today is August 1 and, for me, in some way marks the end of summer. The weeks have been action-packed and filled with lots of time for thought and reflection. My black Shine Journal is a safe space for me to write about those things most on my mind.
Below is a page from my journal dated, Thursday, July 21.
Dare to Shine.
For the first time since we bought the House of Shine, I am sitting it in alone. Richard is out of town and, after a long day of fun in the sun, the boys are finally asleep.
I stood in the kitchen and noticed, again on the refrigerator, the magnet I randomly found in February when we traveled to Florida to close on our house. The magnet reads, “Dare to Shine” and it was the first thing we placed in our new beach home.
I bought it, because I thought the phrase was inspiring and, in some way, encapsulated the life I wanted to live.
Now, though, this very same magnet feels more like an imperative than a mere pick-me-up. For weeks my mind has been swirling, but tonight - suddenly - everything seems to have settled down and my path seems clear.
Dare to Shine.
It implies that to be great you must take risks; you must dare to do things that aren’t comfortable.
It says to me, that in order to shine, you must be daring.
Walking away from the House of Shine – as we know it - is EXACTLY that for me. It is my attempt to be daring so that I may shine brighter. I have hidden behind this very positive, but very safe website fore a long time. And, I have done it at the expense of writing books, formalizing my consulting, rewriting my BASIC manual, and shipping on half a dozen other projects I continue to dream about.
Maybe deep down I don’t want to know if I can really write a book or make a full-time career of consulting, so instead, I keep an excuse in my back pocket. The House of Shine is a 2-hour commitment each day and, though I love it, it keeps me from pursuing other things I say that I love.
Be brave. Dare. Don’t hang onto what is old because you are scared of change. There is nothing noble about digging your heels in and do the same thing day after day, just because it is comfortable… even if, when you do it, you do it in the name of discipline and hard work.
You cannot host a website titled House of Shine and knowingly believe that, if you were just a little braver, you could do more and that your life would shine brighter.
For this house to really shine, I have to know what it feels like to leap without the safety net of what is tried and true. How can I talk and write about Shine when deep down, I now know that I am hanging on to this project – as it currently exists – because I am scared of change?
I can’t.
And yet, I must resist the urge to walk completely away from House of Shine, just so I can move past any feelings of uncertainty or regret about today’s decision. Finality eliminates shades of gray and fearful people hate shades of gray. I will continue blogging at the House of Shine, but the posts will not be daily, maybe not even weekly. They will come when I have something to share and the time to write them.
I love this space. I love the concept of Shine and the message of Shine. Shine feels like my life’s purpose. And yet, if I am going to live my life’s purpose, I must get out from behind the safety and security of this space I call home. I must see what happens when I actually Dare to Shine.
No promises about when and how often I will post after today.
But also, no formal good-bye.
No turning and throwing away the key on this house I have grown to love.
Shining is not that simple.
Instead, I offer a simple thank you for allowing me to discover myself through this House and for riding along with me on this journey to discover what shine really means. I will be back.